Spanky’s Riptide: Sunday Morning NFL Football Breakfast

NFL Football Breakfast at Spanky's Riptide Eggs McSpanky

Eggs McSpanky

With eleven big screen televisions from which to choose, Spanky’s Riptide is one of the best places on the west side of Maui to watch NFL football on a Sunday morning. For that matter, Spanky’s Riptide is the one of best places to watch any televised sports event on the west side of Maui. But I digress.

A few days before the inaugural Sunday Morning NFL Football Breakfast, we ran into Sam, the bartender from Spanky’s Riptide, as we were walking by Longhi’s on Front Street. She invited us to stop by and see what the new menu looked like for their Sunday Morning Football Breakfast. We thought it sounded like fun and, since we were already fans of Spanky’s $5 Dollar Burger and their Cajun Shrimp, we wanted to see what they were going to serve for breakfast.

NFL Football Breakfast Spanky's Riptide Loco Moco

Loco Moco

On Sunday morning, Spanky’s Riptide opens at 7:00 am and starts serving alcohol at 8:00 am. We arrived around 7:30 am and the place was nearly full. There were about five or six seats left at the bar and most of the tables were filled with fans wearing a variety of NFL football jerseys. We found the last table for five and sat down to watch the football games.

From where we sat, we could see most of the televisions. If you are planning on watching a particular NFL game, I recommend arriving early and finding a seat near the television showing your game. Once the televisions are set to a specific game, they are not going to change the channel. If you’re like us on this particular Sunday, people who go for the fun and not for a particular team’s game, you can sit anywhere and just enjoy the experience.

The breakfast menu at Spanky’s Riptide Sunday Morning NFL Football Breakfast is simple. It’s not your place for eggs benedict or breakfast quiche. They serve a good inexpensive breakfast that’s perfect for watching the game and having a few drinks. The Eggs McSpanky comes with eggs; cheese; and your choice of bacon, ham, or Spam served on a bun. The Zombie Burger is a Spanky burger served with bacon, fried egg, cheese, and gravy. The Breakfast Quesadilla is served with your choice of Spam, ham, or bacon. The Borracho Breakfast Burrito comes with your choice of Spam, sausage, or bacon. The Loco Moco is a 1/4 pound burger topped with eggs, two scoops of rice, and gravy. And finally, there’s a bagel with cream cheese, tomato, and onion. All the breakfast items are five dollars, except for the bagel which is three.

After careful deliberation, multiple customization ideas, and several, “You can’t order that, I’m ordering that!” my son and daughter each decided to order the Eggs McSpanky. One, with extra bacon and no cheese, and the other, with bacon, exactly how it’s made on the menu. Their mom ordered the Loco Moco with extra gravy and I ordered the Zombie Burger.

NFL Football Breakfast Spanky's Riptide Zombie Burger

Zombie Burger

We ordered a few drinks, too: three POGs for the kids and their mom, a grapefruit juice for me, and a signature Bloody Mary. The Bloody Mary was just to try for the taste. Honest. When I’m taking notes, it’s not a good idea to drink. I’m not normally a big fan of Bloody Marys; they’re a little too spicy for me and this one seemed a little stronger than a double shot. But judging by the number of Bloody Mary’s being served this morning, it was obviously very good, if you like Bloody Mary’s. I’m more of a coffee with a little sugar in the morning kind of person.

While we drank our drinks and waited for our breakfast to arrive, I looked around the sports bar and was surprised at how many people I recognized. Spanky’s Riptide is fast becoming a very popular hang out. The decorations are eclectic and there are probably more than a few good stories in there somewhere. Spanky, the dog after whom the place is named, wasn’t around yet; maybe he was taking an early morning walk on the beach.

Promptly at 8:00 am, Sam rang the bell to let everyone know that it was time to serve alcohol. “It’s eight o’clock,” she shouted. Hoots and whistles erupted as the thirsty patrons placed their drink orders.

The kids laughed at how excited everyone was acting. “Why is everyone shouting?” they asked as they looked from television to television to see if something happened during one of the games.

“It’s eight o’clock”, I told them. “That means they can server alcohol now.”

“Oh,” came their response. Kids don’t really get too excited about alcohol.

NFL Football Breakfast Spanky's Riptide Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary

Our food arrived a few minutes later. Sam brought the first round, which included the two Eggs McSpanky. The Eggs McSpanky looked less like Egg McMuffins and more like an entire omelette placed inside a huge dinner roll. I watched as my daughter’s eyes grew bigger and bigger. She and my son both exclaimed how good the Eggs McSpanky looked before wondering out loud how they would be able to bite into it. They eventually figured out how to get their mouths around the food and both relished telling us how good it was.

As the kids continued eating, Sam arrived with the Loco Moco and the Zombie Burger. The Loco Moca was made with a teriyaki burger. It sounded strange at first, but the sweetness contrasted very nicely with the brown gravy. I remember having Sloppy Joes that were made with a Thai peanut sauce. Like a peanut butter sloppy joe. It sounds strange, but the combination of flavors made it work. Same thing with the teriyaki Loco Moco. It sounded strange, but it worked.

My Zombie Burger was fantastic and a great combination of flavors: the bacon, the over easy egg, the burger (which I knew was good from having it at lunch before), the cheese, and the gravy. It reminded me of going out for burgers at Fat Burger or Tommy’s when I was in college in Los Angeles. It’s a little messy, so be careful and remember to lean over the table when you eat, otherwise you may get a lap full of egg yolk and gravy.

I was amazed, not surprised, with how quiet the kids became and how quickly they ate their McSpankys. I myself, was finishing my Zombie Burger a little faster than I expected, too. It was that good. Sam checked on us several times during the course of our breakfast. She brought more gravy for the Loco Moco once, and more POG and grapefruit juice a few times.

NFL Football Breakfast Spanky's Riptide Ice Cream Sundae

Ice Cream Sundae

Sam runs Spanky’s really well when she’s on shift. She makes sure everyone has what they need: enough food, enough condiments, and enough drinks. She also settles arguments over which sporting events are shown on which televisions. While we were eating, an argument arose because someone wanted to watch a different game on a particular television. The same game was being shown on a different screen, visible from a different table, but the patron refused to move. Needless to say, Sam kicked them out of the place before it turned into a fight. Bottom line: Don’t mess with Sam and everyone will be happy.

When we were all finished with breakfast, Sam visited our table and asked how everyone liked breakfast. We let her know that we all ate way to much and that the food was delicious. She cleared the dishes and returned a few minutes later.

This time, Sam brought us a chocolate sundae for dessert; she thought it would be a nice treat for the kids. She brought enough spoons for all of us to share. Even though there was very little room left after our breakfast entrees, we all made our best effort attempt to eat dessert.

After a few spoonfuls of whipped cream, ice cream, and syrup, my son reached the chocolate brownie at the bottom. He looked at his spoon and asked, “Is that cake?”

He took a closer look at the cake on his spoon and cried out, “It’s a brownie!” And he shoved the spoonful into his mouth. I’ve rarely heard him so excited. After that, it didn’t take much effort for the kids to finish the chocolate sundae.

The atmosphere at Spank’s Riptide Sunday Morning NFL Football Breakfast is lively, fun, and friendly (as long as you don’t throw a fit that you can’t change the channel on the televisions). I could have stayed there all day watching football and probably would have if my daughter wasn’t dancing in the hula show at the Lahaina Cannery Mall that afternoon.

Spanky’s Riptide
505 Front Street #129-130
Lahiana, HI 96761

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About Maury Hoffman |Things to Do on Maui | Restaurant and Activity Reviews

Senior Editor of 808 Reviews and freelance travel writer, Maury Hoffman lives on Maui with his familiy, iPad, iPhone, and other gadgets. His writing proficiency is directly related to the quality of his morning coffee. He prefers Peet's Coffee, but also enjoys Living Java.

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